Oh, what a fecal storm Notre Dame Linebacker/Heisman Trophy candidate Manti Te’o has stirred up as news reports now say his dead-by-cancer girlfriend, Lennay Kekua (which, when spell backwards, makes as much sense as it does when spelled forward) never existed.
What’s the big deal?
Our Brave New Hollywood view: So he had an invisible girlfriend—which must be a first in the sports world. Maybe more sports stars should follow Teo’s lead and have invisible girlfriends instead of visible ones (are you listening — New York Jets cornerback Antonio Cromartie, 27, who has 10 kids from eight women?!) And whose to say that self-proclaimed virgin Tim Tebow isn’t talking dirty to his invisible woman right now?
Of course, in the Hollywood world, having invisible paramours is old hat.
How many years did Rock Hudson go with his invisible girlfriend(s) which were planted in the press by his PR team? Or, how many gay celebs have had hot actress/girlfriends visible in the newspapers (i.e., David Geffen with Cher, Tab Hunter with Natalie Wood or Montgomery Clift with Elizabeth Taylor) but were invisible in their beds?
Then again, maybe MORE celebrities (especially musicians) should have invisible paramours. That way, the listening public doesn’t have to hear their dirty laundry being unfurled in public. In our view, the main offender is Taylor Swift; who makes one think that she spends more time counting her ex-boyfriends than she does her money.
What would she have to sing about if her boyfriends were invisible….or non-existent? Would her whiney “Dear John” (to John Mayer) song just be called “Dear ____”. Or, would her “We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together” even exist? Is her choice in men really that bad, or are the men that were (John Mayer, Conor Kennedy etc. etc.) in her life getting a raw deal? Maybe one day, one of her exes will write a song about being with her, like Mr. Kennedy writing, “Shoot Me Swiftly—Like A Kennedy.”
If she really wants a mass audience, she should film herself hysterically breaking up with her ex-boyfriends, and issue a DVD release called, “No Time For Taylor.”
But then, as in Mr. Teo’s case, any ink is good ink; whether the ink is invisible or not. After all, an invisible girlfriend is the line in the celebrity sand from being almost famous to famous to…
…infamous.
Speaking of imaginary mates BNH recommends LARS AND THE REAL GIRL (on NetFlix), starring Ryan Gosling.