…or should we say, where Tom Brady blows–as in his two losing Super Bowls.
Unfortunately, it appears his Brazilian wife, Gisele Bündchen, couldn’t see the game through her rose-colored Oakley glasses. She pouted: “My husband cannot f****ing throw the ball and catch the ball at the same time! I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times!!”
However, what Mr. Brady did accomplish at the Super Bowl was creating a new position (wherein one sits on the ground; head bowed, defeated) called “Bradying” (bradying.com). This now replaces “Tebowing.”
Boy, you’ve made it in life if a position is named after you. Maybe one day, the person who the “Dirty Sanchez” position was named after will reveal himself. Hopefully, he won’t be your next waiter–or lipstick salesman.
To get America’s mind off of the Bradying craze, perhaps Mr. Brady and his wife should go into another field—like film. They can star in a movie called, “The Girls From Brazil.” In this post World War II epic, Patriot Coach Bill Belichick can play the evil Nazi doctor Dr. Mengele and his assistant is Thomas Bradieheiden; both hiding out in Brazil. The dastardly doctors experiment and create two perfect models called, “G. Bundchen” and “A. Lima.”
Of course, Dr. Mengele and Tom Bradieheiden botch the operation on Bundchen and give her the personality of a Brazilian piranha. When she sees what they did to her, she removes her rose-colored Oakley glasses and barks:
“I can’t believe they dropped the ball so many times!!”